weighed down

It's been a long time since I blogged....again. I guess the blogging world has lost some of it's excitement for me. I'm trying decide if it's something I should put my mind to fixing or just let it be.
Here are some random pieces of our life:

We went to Oklahoma to visit GG's brother for Easter. We had enjoyable time with family. Our niece got baptized-which was a very lovely event. We went swimming with the family at the hotel pool. Boo was very leery of the swimming pool and didn't even want to change into her swimsuit. So she and I sat and watched them until finally she decided it was time. I'll have to wait for some pictures from Nonna (gg's mom). She was super cute on her little boat thing. She picked up on how to move all over the pool in it in no time. I also got my first foot zone from his sister in law. It was an intriguing experience to learn how your feet tell what is going on in the rest of your body. I'd recommend it.

Here's a picture of her finding her basket that the Easter Bunny and helpers filled so generously.  She loves it!

I feel like I've had a bad month, or two or three, where my filter has not been working well and I spurt out things that come off sounding offensive or just wrong.  Does anyone else feel that way? Or is it just me. I really have been struggling lately and its driving me crazy. Maybe I don't get out enough.

I've decided that I need an adjustment with my attitude with money. I'm not sure how to go about that but I've got to stop feeling so offended and robbed everytime I get a bill. I'm just tired of giving people my money when I didn't plan on giving it to them. Pretty much our tax return went to a crown for me...I wish it was the tiarra kind but no, tubes for boo's ears, brakes for our van, and other medical expenses. I'm praying for a much more relaxed year but then again, we are almost at our max out of pocket for the year and its only April-so we could get some free work. :) jk. I'd really rather not.  I need to just stop being bitter and realize the blessings that we have.

The other thing that has been in my mind lately-which incidently is probably one of those things that have come out wrong-has been when friends are talking about children. I am impressed by their ability to handle more than one child yet the very idea of having two children in my care around the clock stresses me out.  I want another child, I really do, but it terrifies me. Some of you know that in January we had our second miscarriage. Like probably almost all women who have miscarriages we don't know why but I'm trusting the Lord that this is not the right timing for us. And that it just might be more than I can handle right now. But I realize I need to stop saying out loud how difficult it seems and start being more positive and figure out how I can learn to manage 2 children all day, everyday. I really do love being a mom. I love Boo and I can't wait to love another little baby.

SOoooo this was a LOT longer than anticipated...just spilled my brains here. It appears I have been a stressed out, weighed down bummer lately. goodness. Hopefully by putting all this out there, clearing the brain waves it will open up the window to more blogging. ...maybe. No promises. 

Here are a few pictures of Boo. She likes to wear our shoes- in this one she's wearing one of my (grandma-looking work shoes) and GG's shoes.

Have a good one friends.