Thursday, July 20, 2017

losing sleep and mommy daughter dates

The last several nights, for whatever reason I have woken up in the middle of the night and have had a hard time getting back to sleep. Tonight, I woke up because I mistakenly left the thermostat higher because it had been constantly running trying to keep it at a lower temp and freezing out my family.  Once awake my mind starts thinking. And tonight I was thinking about what happens if my phone won't charge again (it got some water on it during water day with the cousins today, I'm hoping it will dry out to actually recognize it is plugged in). So I woke up and tried to see if it would and it will not yet. So then I spent the last half hour emailing myself pictures.  And trying to figure out my passwords to my accounts. I realize that because of my phone which keeps me logged in I have not memory of what my passwords are. kinda annoying.

One of the things I've wanted to do before baby comes was take the girls on a date. It was fun to see the anticipation and excitement in each of them. I came up with the date ideas since it had to be free or cheap (due to crazy car bills this month and the anticipation of upcoming hospital bills...I feel like I'm swimming which since I don't swim feels like drowning a bit).  I first took her to get a donut and register the van while she ate it (not exciting but killing two birds with one stone right?)

I had noticed Boo has been interested in convertibles this entire summer, always pointing them out as they drove by.  I had thought I would do a test drive of one but I didn't wan the liability, so we just asked the guy at a nice used car shop to let her sit in one. The first one she picks out was this lovely from 1990...just because it said "Indy" on it (she is way into the Lego Indiana Jones game right now).
 He didn't want to take the top down off that since it was too hard but he did on this much nicer one since it only required a button. It was fun to hear her tell GG that she couldn't keep from smiling while she was there looking at them.
Since sitting in a car didn't take very long I asked if she wanted to look around for back to school stuff, she decided she wanted to walk around the mall. She found Claire's and thoroughly enjoyed looking at all the toys and girly stuff there. 

I came home and took Little Miss out. We had to passes for a train ride at the zoo from a game we played at the zoo back in March before our membership expired. She was pretty excited about it. Apparently she does not remember riding on it last year but I'm pretty sure she got to do it at least once. 
 (This peacock wander up to us as we waited for the train ride. It was kinda fun...when my camera clicked the peacock kinda seemed surprised like we would, "did you just take a picture of me?" )

 (jumped up on the zoo sign for a picture...why not ?  I guess)

We then went to the library to pick up the video game we failed to get the disk from the front desk when we checked out the previous day and then got ice cream....the longest icecream eating known to man. goodness. 

I have some pretty awesome kids. Each with their strengths and weaknesses. Love them!

Sunday, July 9, 2017


Do I dare start blogging again? As my due date for little boy approaches, I was trying to figure out when my actual due date was with little miss #3 (Funny how the details start to blur with each child, eh?) I couldn't find the info on facebook (go me for not posting too many personal details there), so I came here and found the info I wanted and was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed being able to look back at our lives. And now that I finally don't have a gimp computer that needs to be hooked up to the TV to be used which eventually lost its ability to connect to the internet, I actually have a real option of blogging again.

I feel like I have been so far out of the blog world and once I got on my blog I realized others are STILL using blogs! However since it's been so long since I've posted I'd be surprised if any of my old blog friends even see my posts. But really, as it was from mostly the beginning, its for me.

SOOOOOOOO.....where does one start when they have been absent for a year and half? First, maybe a mental note to myself...I have been journaling since January in a real notebook... (with paper and pen..truly legit and with much more details in our lives than I would share on a blog...sounds juicy huh? ) :)  so, Self, start there if I need more details for the last six months at least, the rest of the year that I was absent remains with ever more apparent poor memory. :(

We took a hospital tour since this new doctor we are seeing only delivers at this particular hospital. The kids actually enjoyed it. And GG and I were pleasantly surprised at the news that this hospital, as of this month, now has a mommy plus one meal like our old hospital (this was a big downside to this hospital compared to the one we have delivered our other babes at). So big plus for GG-he loves free food. :) However, I left the hospital feelings sad? or maybe anxious ? Not sure. As much as I am totally DONE being pregnant, I'm don't feel prepared for this delivery, or 4 children. AHHH! Heaven help us.

I have seen a couple stories of women who have died after giving birth for whatever reason. I have my fears. This pregnancy has given me odd symptoms, the doctors chalk it up lack of water, increased blood flow whatever but what if its something really serious? Paranoia, I know. The endless what if's of childbirth.

This pregnancy was unexpected but at the same time, I knew there was another. I remember walking around a store and had all three kids but I felt like I was missing one. (it must have been when Little miss #3 was still strapped into the cart because now we are a circus walking around the store).  It was a clear feeling that I still feel today and feel like this pregnancy was to be despite maybe not being super ready for it.

It has taken me so much longer to get ready for this baby. We STILL don't have a name. So serious suggestions welcome....if anyone is reading this.  I did wash the car seat...still have to put it together. Need to wash clothes (probably redundantly, my neighbor so generously passed on her baby boy clothes from her little boy who is 9 months old. SO GRATEFUL!) We did rearrange the room so that the pack n' play will fit in our room where he will reside until Little miss #3 outgrows the crib. Need to buy diapers. I bought stuff to make boy burp clothes instead of using pink ones on him. :) I guess writing this there really isn't more to do, it's just odd. I feel like, especially with the first there is obviously so much more to do but there isn't tons to do for a 4th child. Finding a name is probably the biggest challenge.

I was going to have a picture of me at 37 weeks (tomorrow) but by the time I got done cooking dinner my outfit was dirty so maybe at 38 weeks..or 41 weeks.  (I have to mentally prepare myself for the fact I will likely go over) .

Sorry this was more journal-ish than bloggish but ahh well, I'll get back in the swing of things!

Saturday, February 6, 2016


I have had lots of thoughts in my head of what I want to happen this year.
1. After a lot of pondering and teaching a lesson in Relief Society, I have decided that while I can't control my two year old, despite my best efforts, I don't have to walk out of the battle with her not liking myself as a parent. I want more peace in my home and heart. It doesn't mean all the battles will disappear  but I can still walk out of the battle with peace knowing I am working with her the best I can and as closely as the Savior would.  I will pick my battles and help my children recognize how the can have more peaceful resolutions to their battles. I want my home to be a place where my children want to be and where others are comfortable being.
2. Ponderizing. The term for poneeding the scriptures. I haven't done well with it but I want it happening in my home. I want myself and children to have scriptures in their heart and minds. As Elder Scott, called the scriptures he memorized, "dear friends" . Should I be in struggle,  I not only want my kids to have happy memories to fill and warm their hearts. I want the scriptures to come to their mind and guide them.
3. By December I want to fit back into a skirt I bought and wore before sweet missy took residence in my body. I hope that is generous enough of time, it's a little over a year of exercising but I feel like my tummy isn't budging.
So yep, my list of things I want to work on.

Thursday, December 10, 2015


I love it when my siblings send an ornament with a story or scripture.  As I pull out my ornament and hang it up I get to have a little spiritual moment.  My kids are getting old enough I can pause and teach them the meaning of some of these ornaments.  

This ornament,  I'm sure not made by my sister but given by her is one such ornament. 

As I look at my tree, as I said before,  I am filled with love and joy for my family. But as this ornament reminds me, that the tree represents the love of God. He offers the fruit of His tree so that we can be filled with His love and joy. 

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Christmas in a Nutshell

I had a dream the other night that I went on another date with a past boyfriend that I haven't seen since we broke up. I wanted things to work out so bad but at the same time I had sooo many red flags telling me that I was not going to be happy with  him. Anyway, in this dream I forgave him and went to something that felt like a ward party but it was McDonald's  (which was supposed to be novelty). During our dinner two flighty girls who lived by him came up and sat at the table and they had a flirty-ditzy annoying conversation.  After a few minutes I got up had a few awesome parting words and I woke up. I woke up so thankful for my awesome husband.  The night before the dream, I had sat admiring him as he held our sweet babe in the light of the Christmas tree. It was one of those moments that your heart swells with gratitude, joy and with a prayer that it will last.

The beautiful thing is that even though things do change and there are difficulties in life we do get to hang on forever. The beauty of the season is in our Savior. That He lived. He died. AND lives again. And we can be together with Him and our families as we covenant to live like him.

Christmas in a Nutshell

(From brother#2 it's Christ in a walnut shell. Cute.)

Monday, December 7, 2015

O Christmas tree!

I'm sitting here listening to Christmas music, admiring my Christmas tree. I love my Christmas tree.

My tree is filled with ornaments have been made/given by my siblings. Every year at least a few of us have exchanged ornaments. Some of these ornaments have stories or reasons why I love them. I know that I have to be realistic and admit that with three little ones some of these ornaments may not get to last forever. So I thought I should document these ornaments so I can always remember them and continue to feel joy in my family and in Christmas.
So over the next few weeks I may be posting a few of my favorites.

Today's ornament was one of the first exchanged. It brings me so much joy everytime I look at it.
Isn't he so cute? My brother sent this. I think it came as a great surprise to me to that my brother was so crafty. It was during his divorce, so I knew it came 100% from him. I just feel like there is so much love in this ornament.  It's the happiest elf I have ever seen.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

This girl

Ever since boo was little,  good byes have never been a big deal. I barely could get a wave or a verbal good bye from her when I dropped her off at preschool.  I always half-wished I got more as I watched other kids hug and kiss their moms  goodbye. But I also knew it just wasn't who Boo was. She has always been so excited for school and being around friends that the temporary separation wasn't a big deal.
But lately when i've dropping her off at school, I get a hug, a kiss and/or blown kiss with an "I love you mom". Ahhhhh. It tickles my heart.
I've also started to say a little prayer for her most days as I watch her walk into school. I like that special little prayer just for her. I hope I can keep that up.