After Pregnancy

It's been one week since I've been pregnant and it feels so freeing despite the slow return of my body. I feel like the tummy pouch went down faster but I am older and even last time my doctor said I would need a tummy tuck. I hope *hope* I can avoid having a pouch or surgery.

My ankles have almost returned...still a little swollen but not swollen. I get weird little puffs on the inside of my ankles when I'm pregnant (reflexology says that's your uterus, so it makes sense). My fingers and toes are fatter..sadly I don't think they are swollen either. That just might be fat. I can't get my wedding ring on.

I'm finally starting to get nursing neck and shoulders. Ughh. I know I'll get stronger or if I just have better posture while nursing I'll be fine. But I exercised, I use that term incredibly loosely, I moved my body and arms around just loose them up...more of an active stretch??? I don't know if I can hold out until 6 weeks to exercise. I'm proud to say that I exercised the day Baby L was born...once again it was an easy quick one given time and motivation that day.

Today is GG's first full day back at work. It was wonderful having him home. He was the ideal husband and father that week. He cleaned, he bathed, he entertained, he shopped, he was patient and the list could go on. It was simply the best. I could spend my time taking care of Baby L and taking care of my body's needs. The first day home was perfect in that I could nap when he napped and just hold and adore him. I know paternity leave doesn't technically exist for his work, but he took the time off anyway. I felt a little selfish but was lovely.

Little Miss #3, has come up with some new techniques this morning. The other girls were off playing, L was crying and I was trying to figure out how to soothe him . I had put a show in for her but she decided she wanted attention from me so she came over and started "hitting" (super soft) me and laughing. Oh golly. Then at lunch time, he was still crying, Little Miss #3 was angrily crying, I was trying to make lunch one handed and meet the requests of everyone. It was a chaotic few minutes and only the beginning.

Well, here's to a smooth adjustment phase!! OH Heaven help us! :)

Doing something right?

So sometimes my kids are handfuls and can be difficult.  Little Miss #3 and her 2 year old independence had been rough. But then there are moments that make you feel like maybe you are doing something right. She came up to get diapers and wipes so dad could change her. I helped her since we had to put them up high (she has decided to help herself to her own diaper changes....fear and tremble.) But as I handed them to her she turned back at me and said s cute little "thank you" that made me we might be doing okay.  

Just a wishin' and a hopin'

I was so hoping today was going to be the day for little man to come. But he sure didn't. Ah well. Induction date is set for next week ...unfortunately at 5:30 in the morning! seriously?! I'd rather go into labor in the middle of the night than be scheduled for 5:30. But whatever. Hopefully we don't make it to that date. I can't decide if I'm more ready for a break from my other kids for a day or two or to finally be done being pregnant.

I'm still not sure I know what I'm getting into. Here is a picture that I took that I sent to Victory when I found out I was pregnant....the feeling is about the same today as it was that day.

I'm going to be so outnumbered at home. Little Miss #3 has hit the terrible twos in full swing and I can't even deal with it.  Little Miss #2 has always thrown tantrums but thankfully they seem even more petty than LM#3's tantrums and I can just let her cry even though its annoying. And Little Miss #2 is always picking on Boo. And Boo likes to do as she pleases or I have to ask her a billion times to do something. Ignoring me is her thing. And add a baby that will want to nurse, be held and need diaper changes. And hopefully I will want to cuddle and adore like I have my past babies to the point I don't want to be interrupted for frustrating things. I just want to soak it up.

Is that weird? That I fear that I won't have the same attachment that I have felt towards my girls? The idea of a baby boy seems so weird to me....I don't know why. I think I was a little worried or unsure how things would go with Boo, but after that I knew I just wanted to snuggle those sweet baby cheeks. Maybe it's because I have never experienced it with a boy so I'm unsure. I don't tend to fawn too much over other's babies and fawning over a baby boy is new territory.

Here is a picture of me at 37 weeks:

I'm still holding out hope that I'll go early this time...I haven't before but still worth hoping for?
'

losing sleep and mommy daughter dates

The last several nights, for whatever reason I have woken up in the middle of the night and have had a hard time getting back to sleep. Tonight, I woke up because I mistakenly left the thermostat higher because it had been constantly running trying to keep it at a lower temp and freezing out my family.  Once awake my mind starts thinking. And tonight I was thinking about what happens if my phone won't charge again (it got some water on it during water day with the cousins today, I'm hoping it will dry out to actually recognize it is plugged in). So I woke up and tried to see if it would and it will not yet. So then I spent the last half hour emailing myself pictures.  And trying to figure out my passwords to my accounts. I realize that because of my phone which keeps me logged in I have not memory of what my passwords are. kinda annoying.

One of the things I've wanted to do before baby comes was take the girls on a date. It was fun to see the anticipation and excitement in each of them. I came up with the date ideas since it had to be free or cheap (due to crazy car bills this month and the anticipation of upcoming hospital bills...I feel like I'm swimming which since I don't swim feels like drowning a bit).  I first took her to get a donut and register the van while she ate it (not exciting but killing two birds with one stone right?)

I had noticed Boo has been interested in convertibles this entire summer, always pointing them out as they drove by.  I had thought I would do a test drive of one but I didn't wan the liability, so we just asked the guy at a nice used car shop to let her sit in one. The first one she picks out was this lovely from 1990...just because it said "Indy" on it (she is way into the Lego Indiana Jones game right now).

 He didn't want to take the top down off that since it was too hard but he did on this much nicer one since it only required a button. It was fun to hear her tell GG that she couldn't keep from smiling while she was there looking at them.

Since sitting in a car didn't take very long I asked if she wanted to look around for back to school stuff, she decided she wanted to walk around the mall. She found Claire's and thoroughly enjoyed looking at all the toys and girly stuff there. 

I came home and took Little Miss out. We had to passes for a train ride at the zoo from a game we played at the zoo back in March before our membership expired. She was pretty excited about it. Apparently she does not remember riding on it last year but I'm pretty sure she got to do it at least once. 

 (This peacock wander up to us as we waited for the train ride. It was kinda fun...when my camera clicked the peacock kinda seemed surprised like we would, "did you just take a picture of me?" )

 (jumped up on the zoo sign for a picture...why not ?  I guess)

We then went to the library to pick up the video game we failed to get the disk from the front desk when we checked out the previous day and then got ice cream....the longest icecream eating known to man. goodness. 

I have some pretty awesome kids. Each with their strengths and weaknesses. Love them!

I'm BAACCKKKKKK

Do I dare start blogging again? As my due date for little boy approaches, I was trying to figure out when my actual due date was with little miss #3 (Funny how the details start to blur with each child, eh?) I couldn't find the info on facebook (go me for not posting too many personal details there), so I came here and found the info I wanted and was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed being able to look back at our lives. And now that I finally don't have a gimp computer that needs to be hooked up to the TV to be used which eventually lost its ability to connect to the internet, I actually have a real option of blogging again.

I feel like I have been so far out of the blog world and once I got on my blog I realized others are STILL using blogs! However since it's been so long since I've posted I'd be surprised if any of my old blog friends even see my posts. But really, as it was from mostly the beginning, its for me.

SOOOOOOOO.....where does one start when they have been absent for a year and half? First, maybe a mental note to myself...I have been journaling since January in a real notebook... (with paper and pen..truly legit and with much more details in our lives than I would share on a blog...sounds juicy huh? ) :)  so, Self, start there if I need more details for the last six months at least, the rest of the year that I was absent remains with ever more apparent poor memory. :(

We took a hospital tour since this new doctor we are seeing only delivers at this particular hospital. The kids actually enjoyed it. And GG and I were pleasantly surprised at the news that this hospital, as of this month, now has a mommy plus one meal like our old hospital (this was a big downside to this hospital compared to the one we have delivered our other babes at). So big plus for GG-he loves free food. :) However, I left the hospital feelings sad? or maybe anxious ? Not sure. As much as I am totally DONE being pregnant, I'm don't feel prepared for this delivery, or 4 children. AHHH! Heaven help us.

I have seen a couple stories of women who have died after giving birth for whatever reason. I have my fears. This pregnancy has given me odd symptoms, the doctors chalk it up lack of water, increased blood flow whatever but what if its something really serious? Paranoia, I know. The endless what if's of childbirth.

This pregnancy was unexpected but at the same time, I knew there was another. I remember walking around a store and had all three kids but I felt like I was missing one. (it must have been when Little miss #3 was still strapped into the cart because now we are a circus walking around the store).  It was a clear feeling that I still feel today and feel like this pregnancy was to be despite maybe not being super ready for it.

It has taken me so much longer to get ready for this baby. We STILL don't have a name. So serious suggestions welcome....if anyone is reading this.  I did wash the car seat...still have to put it together. Need to wash clothes (probably redundantly, my neighbor so generously passed on her baby boy clothes from her little boy who is 9 months old. SO GRATEFUL!) We did rearrange the room so that the pack n' play will fit in our room where he will reside until Little miss #3 outgrows the crib. Need to buy diapers. I bought stuff to make boy burp clothes instead of using pink ones on him. :) I guess writing this there really isn't more to do, it's just odd. I feel like, especially with the first there is obviously so much more to do but there isn't tons to do for a 4th child. Finding a name is probably the biggest challenge.

I was going to have a picture of me at 37 weeks (tomorrow) but by the time I got done cooking dinner my outfit was dirty so maybe at 38 weeks..or 41 weeks.  (I have to mentally prepare myself for the fact I will likely go over) .

Sorry this was more journal-ish than bloggish but ahh well, I'll get back in the swing of things!